I've been meaning to put this recipe up for ages but I've just been really lazy (stroke of fucking genius to put 'lazy' in the title of this blog - the excuse that keeps on milking).
So it's basically this recipe from Cookie and Kate but I have so many comments that I might as well write up the entire recipe. Her pictures look way nicer than mine but they also illustrate a big problem - somehow she is suggesting that you can just put small amounts of this stuff on your food, like sprinkle-scrape-dainty. Stuffing your face directly from the jar with a spoon is more likely. 2400-2500 kcal in the following recipe as best I can calculate.
300 g desiccated coconut (equal to 3 cups - easy-peasy Americans)
50 g macadamia nuts (for the lazy/gluttonous)
50 g hazelnuts (for the cheap/gluttonous)
pinch of salt
possibly teaspoon honey (depending on your views on honey)
Toast 200 g of the coconut in the oven or on a frying pan (leave one third untoasted). You don't want to burn it, just make it coconutty fragrant.
Toast the nuts. If you use hazelnuts then you usually have to rub them in a tea towel to get the brown stuff off - if you don't have to then you probably didn't buy the cheapest ones.
Let cool for as long as you have patience.
Transfer to food processor with a bit of salt. No, you can't do this in a blender. Use the chopping blade.
I run this on the lowest speed setting on my cheapo £66 Phillips food processor. You're supposed to use the highest setting with the chopping thing but this takes so long that I worry that the motor will overheat. This way I just start it and go vacuum or shower or something.
UPDATE: I made a batch yesterday where I used the middle setting and it only took 10 minutes. I tried running it at max speed as well and I was right that it started smelling fairly quickly.
After about 15 minutes it looks wet/oily and you can stop it and scrape down the sides. No reason at all to do that before this point.